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The Truth about Goats

‘Kind Regards’ goes from passive aggressive to outright lie

Scientists have discovered that over 90% of respondents who sign off emails are neither regarding us kindly, interested in the best of our wishes or intending to stay faithful.  In … Continue reading

February 28, 2018 · Leave a comment

People who go for walks aren’t working hard enough during the week

Sociologists have discovered what many had long suspected, that those whose weekends are packed with strenuous activity, are blatantly ‘slacking-off’ at work.  Chief amongst these, are ramblers – who are … Continue reading

February 27, 2018 · 2 Comments

Armed teachers notice rise in homework submissions

While many question President Trump’s safety argument that teachers should carry guns, no one can doubt the positive impact it can have on league table, punctuality and the quantity of … Continue reading

February 26, 2018 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: Come on David, give it your best shot!

WINNER: Come on David, give it your best shot! (from MalcolmRexFairy)   RUNNERS UP: Helmut’s helmet party (from Inchcock) Aww Dad, you’re making that face you were making when I … Continue reading

February 24, 2018 · 6 Comments

Surgery patients advised to visit local butcher

Having encouraged sick children to be treated by pharmacists, NHS England has decided to outsource health care to the high street, combining The Body Shop with Hobbycraft.  Butchers will now … Continue reading

February 22, 2018 · 2 Comments

Scrap of tinsel set to outlast Jesus

The scraggly remains of some seasonal decoration, sellotaped to the underside of your bannister, has already hung on longer than your commitment to the gym, your resolution to phone your … Continue reading

February 21, 2018 · Leave a comment

Theresa May clearly dating a student

Theresa May clearing dating a student Rumours are abound throughout Westminster, that the Prime Minister is ‘schtupping’ an undergraduate; as there can be no other conceivable reason for her suddenly … Continue reading

February 20, 2018 · Leave a comment

Six-packs to be rebranded as ‘tummies’

After years of aggressive marketing, stomachs throughout the land have opted to return to a more family-friendly image, which can accommodate a progressive pie-orientated lifestyle. Gone will be Guantanamo-themed ‘washboards’ … Continue reading

February 19, 2018 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘Oh, you meant THAT button…’

WINNER: ‘Oh, you meant THAT button…’ (from ln2718) RUNNERS UP: Questions asked after ping pong tournament organised next to landing strip. (from Adrian Bamforth) ‘As we approach our final destination, … Continue reading

February 18, 2018 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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