Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Armed teachers notice rise in homework submissions


While many question President Trump’s safety argument that teachers should carry guns, no one can doubt the positive impact it can have on league table, punctuality and the quantity of apples offered up to staff.  Even the expected decline in retention has been offset by a rise in the sale of small coffins and Peppa Pig-themed wreaths.

One tooled-up teacher commented: ‘At the start of a lesson, I’ll just place my revolver on top of my desk or draw a bullseye on a specific student’s forehead.  You see, it’s all about managing the classroom dynamic, differentiating between learners – plus the implied threat that I could shoot out your frontal lobe, the moment you drop your pen’.

Lesson plans and schemes of work are now expected to reference the calibre of student and bullet used.  Armed teachers attest to a rise in SATs, significantly quieter Parents’ evenings and much more productive discussions with management, when it comes to having a pay rise.

A standard multi-choice question will now be – ‘What is the average range of AK-47?’

  1. A) One classroom
  2. B) One cafeteria and sports field
  3. C) Do you feel lucky?
  4. D) Well, do ya, punk?
Advertisements

Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Information

This entry was posted on February 26, 2018 by in International Education and tagged , , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9,612 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 42,428 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2018

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: