The Truth about Goats
North Korean officials have declared their ‘honey trap’ a success, having lured President Trump with a bevy of attractive Kim’s; including Basinger, Cattrall and Philby. Chief among these is Kim Kardashian, who bears a startlingly resemblance to Kim Jong-un – both having large buttocks, filled-in eyebrows and a signature skin-tight pink latex cocktail dress.
Through months of diplomatic correspondence and by hacking Mr. Trump’s Tinder account, North Korea was able set up the meeting, with a promise of hot action in ‘Kim’s demilitarised zone’. As yet, Mr. Trump is still under the impression he is meeting Kim Kardashian, hoping to meet someone committed to denuclearisation, walks in the countryside and an open-mind about ‘dirty bombing’ in hotel rooms.
A Pyongyang spokeswoman said: ‘We have sent Mr. Trump a series of provocative naked selfies by our glorious leader. Ms. Kardashian is not the only one who can display an impressive cleavage beneath a see-through fishnet-style shirt. That said, our Kim may have threatened nuclear retaliation, but he would draw the line at another Kanye West album’.
North Korea has covered the invitation in a series of Kimoji’s – depicting a variety of purged relatives, with the loveable caption ‘Lolz what am I like?’. The spokeswoman clarified: ‘Mr. Trump needs to remember that one is a world class narcissist, with the capacity to destroy civilization as we know it … and the other is Kim Jong-un’.