The Truth about Goats
England fans were less than surprised by Jamie Carragher’s failure to hit the target with his recent phlegm outburst. Despite mustering a mouthful of spit, Carragher lacked the technical ability to hit a ‘cow’s arse with a banjo’.
Renowned for his ‘hardened tackle’, Carragher probably should steer clear of teenage girls for that very reason. Yet, spitting through a car window, Carragher showed the kind of form that provided only 5 goals in over 700 appearances and untold ridicule from Bob Carolgees.
A spectator confirmed: ‘A confused Carragher was clearly outpaced by a 14 year. He just sat there in his car, with one arm raised, desperately hoping that a retired Rio Ferdinand would be able to catch her’.
Gary Neville, disagreeing – just for the sake of it, explained that if she had been spat on by a Man Utd player, she would have been properly soaked. More embarrassing still, half-way through the assault Carragher was dropped in favour of Matthew Upson.