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Shock as cliff-top homes near a ‘big f$cking drop’


Home-owners on the Norfolk coast have been stunned to discover that their properties may be now under threat from sea, sand and ‘donkey rides gone rogue’.  Despite taking every precaution, during a period of rising sea levels, by wearing an extra pair of socks – Norfolk citizens were surprised to find their sea-view is now 360 degrees.

For some reason the coastal residents of Hemsby, have been caught unawares by the location of the North Sea.  Complained one resident: ‘How was I to know that coastal erosion had something to do with the coast.  I’m not a f$cking cryptographer!’

Another lambasted:  ‘Who knew that building my house out of straw, on the side of an active volcano, would be a problem?’  Meaning that insurers have been reluctant to provide ‘King Canute coverage’ for homes falling into same the category of as gingerbread cottages or bridges in Florida.

Sadly home-owners are starting to realise that foundations built on sand, candy floss and Boris Johnson promises, may not be that solid.  Remarked another: ‘If I thought teetering on the edge of a cliff was a bad thing, I’d have never have voted for Brexit’.

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This entry was posted on March 21, 2018 by in UK Environment and tagged , , , , , .

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