Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

A slap in the face with a wet fish, not as ‘bad’ as first thought

Scientists have discovered that mankind’s historical aversion to a facial pumelling by a haddock or trout, is nowhere near as unpleasant as Brexit negotiations or five minutes of Keith Lemon.  If anything, a brief aquatic slap is a blessed relief from the day to day horrors of type 3 diabetes or having to reform the Spice Girls.

In a study involving 100 consenting adults and 3000 reluctant fish; participants were given the choice between 21st century living and being rigorously thwacked with a range of sea creatures.  Ironically most chose the latter, claiming that nothing could hurt worse than the current rental market or another series of ‘Bromans’.

Commented one cancer patient, who was offered a fish-slap to put her troubles into context: ‘Initially there was a degree of shock over the wetness and general girth of the mullet used.   My first thoughts were ‘What I have I let myself in for?’, ‘Can I cope?’ and ‘Who carries a wet fish with them?’.  But once I realised I still had six months of chemo, the whole slap seemed to pale into insignificance.  Admittedly there was a residual fishy pong but on balance I think the war in Syria is worse.’

Fish slapping is set become a welcome distraction for those struggling with illness or being Boris Johnson. That said, the jury is still out on whether most things are better than a ‘poke in the eye with a sharp stick’ but it might explain why Melania Trump usually wears dark glasses.


2 comments on “A slap in the face with a wet fish, not as ‘bad’ as first thought

  1. Inchcock
    March 22, 2018

    Enjoyed this one, Sir.


  2. Wrenfoe
    March 22, 2018

    Every loves a fish related story 😀


Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


This entry was posted on March 22, 2018 by in International Science and tagged , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9,449 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 44,497 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter


Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2018

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2019

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: