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How to spot ‘the wrong type of Jew’


The BBC, Guido Fawkes and your racist Uncle – have helpfully sought to clarify the real source of anti-Semitism – Jews. Said one news editor, channeling Lord Rothermere: ‘Originally we thought the problem was Jeremy Corbyn but it turns out its Jews. And not just any Jew. Lefty Jews, at that!’

If you think you might be working alongside, married to or even being helped by one of these undesirables, please email us WTF@WeReallyDontKnowWhatAntiSemitismIs.com.

Maybe you yourself are the wrong type of Jew? Norman Tebbit has provided ten easy questions to help…

  • Do you espouse socialist values?
  • Do you think Bernie Sanders would be fun to tickle?
  • Did you attend Seder without Boris Johnson?
  • Have you recently refused to shoot an unarmed Palestinian?
  • Do you think hummus is for all faiths?
  • Your best mates are Christian and Muslim – except when you play FIFA18 on the PS4. Then all bets are off.
  • Have you shared jam with a leader of the Labour Party?
  • Are you perhaps a normal human being the same as everyone else – who believes in universal love and the defense of human rights?
  • Did you think ‘Grandma’s House’ was comic genius and should have got a third series?
  • Are you a Socialist? Did we mention that?

If you have answered ‘yes’ to all these questions, we’ll add your name to the list. List? What list? Did I say list? No, no, no – nothing to see here. Just cleaning up the anti-Semitism. One word at a time.

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