Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Porton Down confirm ‘it was just burnt toast’

The defence research facility has finally revealed that the sample of nerve agent supplied by Boris Johnson was, in fact, the remains of his tiffin.  Disappointingly this will mean the UK having to backtrack on its accusations and that Boris may have eaten the remains of the Novichok. 

A Porton Down spokeswoman said:  ‘We ran a variety of rigorous tests on smeared napkin provided by the Foreign Secretary.  And we can confirm its ‘breakfast in origin’. The marmalade was possibly from Selfridges, thick-cut – like Boris’.

The Foreign Secretary is alleged to have defended his initial claims: ‘I was told by a reliable source, that the sample came from Russia.  My source?  Completely reputable.  He was a strapping lad, 7 foot 2 and riding a unicorn. Then, all of a sudden I was in my PJs and nanny was telling me I’d be late for prep.  Oh, no wait, that may have been the cheese I had last night.’

Meanwhile Theresa Maybe/MaybeNot has the humiliating task of returning everyone’s diplomats and their Ferrero Rocher.  Asked to comment validity of making spurious claims about WMD without due process or the burden of evidence, a spokesman for Tony Blair said:  ‘Yeah, I think we’ll take a pass on that one, thanks’.


Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


This entry was posted on April 4, 2018 by in International Defense and tagged , , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9,610 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 42,237 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter


Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2018

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: