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The Truth about Goats

New organ not for masturbation purposes

Scientists have been disappointed to discover that the human body’s 80th organ, can in no way be used to spice up your love life or attract Russell Brand.  Sadly the ‘interstitium’ is unlikely to feature in any, other than the most niche, pornography or the cheapest of sausage.

The interstitium itself is situated somewhere in the vicinity of the bile duct, just like Isabel Oakeshott. It also lacks the charisma of other organs and does not look good encased in fetish underwear or hanging out of Kim Kardashian.

One scientist explained: ‘Essentially it’s a fluid-filled sack of gristle. Similar to Boris Johnson.  It serves very little purpose.  Similar to Mr Johnson.  And could cause the spread of cancer.  Like…well, you can get the picture’.

Of course, this has not stopped some Japanese businessmen paying considerable sums for prosthetic interstitiums dressed as Pokemon.  Yet for sanitary reasons Public Health England have warned not to use the new organ for any deviant purposes, but have said David Davis can continue to use it as a surrogate brain.

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This entry was posted on April 11, 2018 by in International Science and tagged , , , , , .

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