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The Truth about Goats

NFL players can only drop a knee if they propose

The American football league has said players who kneel during the Star-Spangled Banner, must then follow up with an appropriate romantic gesture: ‘nothing less than five carats’.  Players will be … Continue reading

May 31, 2018 · Leave a comment

East Coast Railway franchise found on Ebay

Listed as having several ‘not so careful’ owners, rail services on the East Coast Main Line have been discovered in a job lot of broken capitalism; alongside Carillion, RBS and … Continue reading

May 30, 2018 · Leave a comment

GDPR can ‘f$ck off’

The UK has reached a consensus that the spread of data protection across Europe is on par with the Bubonic plague or an idea by Michael Gove.  Many people have … Continue reading

May 29, 2018 · Leave a comment

Boris tricks prankster into thinking he’s Foreign Secretary

A hoax-caller was tricked into believing that Boris Johnson is real person and not a skit involving Sacha Baron Cohen.  The fake Foreign Secretary was able to maintain his ruse … Continue reading

May 28, 2018 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: Lance Armstrong emphatically denies steroid abuse produces noticeable side-effects.

Lance Armstrong emphatically denies steroid abuse produces noticeable side-effects. (from DavidH) RUNNERS UP After 66 million years of (assumed) extinction, a dinosaur rides into town, yelling joyously,….”I’m ba-a-ack!” (from Moky) … Continue reading

May 27, 2018 · 2 Comments

Man convinced he can mend anything with gaffer tape

Despite never having had any formal medical training, Paul Nowakowski (36) is fairly sure that an amputated thumb can be reattached with a combination of gaffer tape and wood glue. … Continue reading

May 24, 2018 · 2 Comments

Oxbridge to improve social diversity with ‘servant’s entrance’

Oxford and Cambridge Universities have responded to calls to admit more disadvantaged students, by allowing Muggles, under-cover of darkness, to eat out of the bins – ‘once the foxes have … Continue reading

May 23, 2018 · Leave a comment

Royal Reporter fails to say ‘black culture’ without sounding like a condescending racist

While many have applauded the diversity and talent on display at Harry & Meghan’s wedding, journalists have struggled to find a plaudit that goes beyond ‘what a surprise’ or ‘nice … Continue reading

May 22, 2018 · Leave a comment

Wife admits to holding in a fart for 10 years

Petra Neysmith (35) has told friends that she can no longer suppress ‘the gaseous rage’ within her.  Sadly, in a vain attempt to keep her marriage together, Petra has not … Continue reading

May 21, 2018 · 1 Comment

Reformation (play script)

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