Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Alan Pardew to tackle knife crime


The Home Secretary has said that only one man has the credentials to turn around rising violence and Tory fortunes, but unfortunately Sam Allardyce was already in post.  Therefore Amber Rudd has naturally turned her attention to Alan Pardew, the brains behind ‘taking the fight out’ of West Bromwich Albion.

A spokeswoman for Pardew said that he welcomed the new challenge: ‘Alan is expecting a positive bounce in gun-related deaths.  Normally 36 points would be enough to secure Premiership survival, although I’m not sure what survival rates are like after 36 stab wounds?’

Said the spokeswoman: ‘Alan has the necessary experience. West Ham, Southampton and Crystal Palace – they were all murder.  Alan is not afraid to confront the unsavoury face crime; he’s worked with Mike Ashley’.

In anticipation of Pardew weaving his normal magic, she went on to say: ‘We’d like to thank Alan for his efforts but we’ll be mutually parting company, before he’s even started. On reflection, the Home Secretary is desperate but she’s not that desperate’.

 

Advertisements

Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Information

This entry was posted on May 1, 2018 by in UK Crime and tagged , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9,610 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 42,094 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2018

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: