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NFL players can only drop a knee if they propose

The American football league has said players who kneel during the Star-Spangled Banner, must then follow up with an appropriate romantic gesture: ‘nothing less than five carats’.  Players will be fined if they protest against police brutality, without swiftly proposing to the nearest Tight End or ‘cute tushy’.

Complained one Line-backer:  ‘I’m trying to make a serious social point, about human rights and respect for life; instead, my coach is demanding a two week honeymoon in Hawaii and a mariachi band’.

The NFL has said that those players who do not conform will be forced to stay in the locker room, until: ‘they have left a trail of flowers to an engagement ring’.   An unnamed NFL boss remarked: ‘It’s all about commitment to the flag and commitment to this relationship.  If you’re dropping to a knee, then there better be a box of chocolates with a diamond in it.

Players who do not stand now, will be forced to stand at the altar later.  One activist Quarter-back said: ‘I took an NFL executive to a beach where I had written in the sand ‘Black Lives Matter’ but he said he just wanted his special day in white’.

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This entry was posted on May 31, 2018 by in International Sport and tagged , , , , , .

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