The Truth about Goats
The American football league has said players who kneel during the Star-Spangled Banner, must then follow up with an appropriate romantic gesture: ‘nothing less than five carats’. Players will be fined if they protest against police brutality, without swiftly proposing to the nearest Tight End or ‘cute tushy’.
Complained one Line-backer: ‘I’m trying to make a serious social point, about human rights and respect for life; instead, my coach is demanding a two week honeymoon in Hawaii and a mariachi band’.
The NFL has said that those players who do not conform will be forced to stay in the locker room, until: ‘they have left a trail of flowers to an engagement ring’. An unnamed NFL boss remarked: ‘It’s all about commitment to the flag and commitment to this relationship. If you’re dropping to a knee, then there better be a box of chocolates with a diamond in it.
Players who do not stand now, will be forced to stand at the altar later. One activist Quarter-back said: ‘I took an NFL executive to a beach where I had written in the sand ‘Black Lives Matter’ but he said he just wanted his special day in white’.