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The Truth about Goats

McDonalds to replace straws with hypodermic needles

Bowing to environmental pressure and an increased demand for saturated fat, McDonalds will be allowing customers to inject, snort or smoke their ‘offal of choice’.  There are various options, with … Continue reading

June 28, 2018 · Leave a comment

Dimbleby quits Question Time without finding any Answers

Having hosted the BBC’s flagship debate programme for over 25 years, David Dimbleby has finally conceded that he will never get a straight answer to anything.  Frustrated, the ex-presenter said … Continue reading

June 27, 2018 · Leave a comment

Graduates can become detectives in 12 weeks and fake marry someone in 6

The Home Office is struggling to recruit graduate investigators, as white-collar crime pays substantially better and often leads to a Cabinet post.  To incentivize applicants, undercover detectives are told they … Continue reading

June 26, 2018 · 2 Comments

GDPR accidentally deletes Civilization

In the rush to protect everyone’s data from The Matrix, an over-enthusiastic IT manager, from Stroud, may have inadvertently erased the ‘sum of human knowledge’. Sadly it looks like 100% … Continue reading

June 25, 2018 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: Misfitted air-bags, methinks?

WINNER: Misfitted air-bags, methinks? (from Inchcock) RUNNERS UP “What’s in this bit then”  “Don’t poke that, it’s the septic bag for the toilet” (from Senile_Delinquent) Mr & Mrs Barnum regretted family holidays, … Continue reading

June 23, 2018 · 1 Comment

House of Fraser cut from Game of Thrones finale

The department chain has declare that they will be closing down 31 stores throughout the Kingdom of Westeros. As many as 2,000 employees will be made redundant, forced to wear … Continue reading

June 21, 2018 · Leave a comment

Guest speaker finally realises Prezi is ‘a bit sh$t’

At precisely 3 p.m. today, Hazeema Chandio (32) reached a moment of epiphany; that instead of an organized set of slides, she had created a jazz-fusion mood-board that would make … Continue reading

June 20, 2018 · 1 Comment

Lex Luthor in favour of ‘Man of Steel’ tariff

One particular business magnate and philanthropist has spoken of his support for President Trump imposing a 25% tariff on squeaky-clean superheroes.  On Twitter Mr. Trump welcomed the endorsement of a … Continue reading

June 19, 2018 · Leave a comment

National Trust to take over the NHS

With a projected shortfall of £50bn by 2030, Theresa May has taken the decision to designate the NHS as a ‘grade-2 listed’ institution, in need of some ‘significant crowd-funding’.  As … Continue reading

June 18, 2018 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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