The Truth about Goats
With a projected shortfall of £50bn by 2030, Theresa May has taken the decision to designate the NHS as a ‘grade-2 listed’ institution, in need of some ‘significant crowd-funding’. As a National Trust site, NHS members will be able to experience ‘Ye olde cream teas’ with their ‘Ye olde endoscopy’ and Alan Titchmarsh with their gastric bypass.
Parts of the NHS date back to Norman times – Norman Fowler that is. With many areas of outstanding natural beauty – not least of which is Mrs Jenkins’ (46), from Slough, hysterectomy scar.
With a family season ticket, you will be entitled to weekend visits, where tour guides will show you around the delightful NHS carpark. While hospital corridors will have signs saying ‘Henry VIII slept here’.
A Health spokeswoman said: ‘We’re taking a crumbling ruin and transforming it into a theme-park filled; with medieval instruments of torture, stories of Black Death and ghostly apparitions. So, just like your average waiting room really’.