The Truth about Goats
At precisely 3 p.m. today, Hazeema Chandio (32) reached a moment of epiphany; that instead of an organized set of slides, she had created a jazz-fusion mood-board that would make Rorschach self-harm. Her ‘Prezi’, which was marketed as a contemporary piece of presentation software, was just a method for giving her conference audience a dose of whiplash and the bends.
Right in the middle of presenting a Venn diagram data analysis on ‘HR workload impact assessments’, Hazeema let out a primal howl of frustration and punched a hole through the projector screen. Work colleagues tried to calm her down, but all Hazeema could mumble were existential questions like – ‘Why are we here?’ ‘What was so wrong with PowerPoint?’ and ‘When am I realistically going to ever need a permanent white-board marker?’
A friend commented: ‘I just don’t know how feasible it is to depend on a reliable internet connection and an audience that doesn’t suffer from motion sickness. I’m not saying that inventing fire was a bad thing, but if we knew that evolution would lead us to Prezi, I think most of us would have stayed put in the primordial soup’.
Sadly Prezi feels like the answer to – what does it feel like to have attention deficit disorder and sea-sickness both at the same time? And all we are left with is a zoomed out document, forever out of reach and out of focus – just like being Theresa May for the day.