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House of Fraser cut from Game of Thrones finale


The department chain has declare that they will be closing down 31 stores throughout the Kingdom of Westeros. As many as 2,000 employees will be made redundant, forced to wear ‘the black’ – a surplus line of monochrome underwear.

The story of the House of Fraser is one of brutal medieval warfare and dynastic murder – or ‘high street retail’ as most know it.  170 years ago, the House of Fraser began with one shop in ‘an ungodly wilderness’, ravaged by dragon fire and white-walkers – or Glasgow city centre as it has now become. .

Chairman Frank Slevin insisted that House of Fraser still stood for honour, duty and luxury make-up brands.  Yet, in recent years they have been aggressively targeted by House Lannister, particularly by Lord Tyrion – upset, that they never stock anything in his size.

Fans of George.R.R.Martin will have to wait to see how the series ends for The House of Fraser but creditors have promised that heads will roll.  Said one shop assistant: ‘Winter is coming but we should probably have stuck with our Summer range a little longer’.

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This entry was posted on June 21, 2018 by in International Arts and tagged , , , .

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