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Caption Competition: Mourinho instantly regrets Bale transfer

Winner: Mourinho instantly regrets Bale transfer (from YogaPantz) RUNNERS UP No you idiot, when I said “We should play Giant Haystacks in goal.” I meant the wrestler. (from Bryntin) Ah, … Continue reading

June 17, 2018 · 2 Comments

1 in 5 UK mammals at risk from Hard Brexit

The Mammal Society and Natural England study has revealed as many as 12 species may be facing a Hard Brexit – or ‘extinction’ as its technically known. It is likely … Continue reading

June 14, 2018 · Leave a comment

UKIP to advise Greens on how to pick a new leader

With five new leaders in the last fortnight, UKIP are well placed to offer advice on how to run a rigorous selection process, followed by a ‘bun fight’. Although poltically … Continue reading

June 13, 2018 · Leave a comment

One in 25 children ‘too fat to go in goal’

Severe obesity is leading to a national shortage of suitable kids to pick last for activities, meaning other minority groups have moved down the pecking order; including children with squints, … Continue reading

June 12, 2018 · 1 Comment

School advertising campaign just a kid and a Bunsen burner

Despite squandering tens of thousands of pounds on an elaborate poster campaign, a local school has struggled to come up with anything more inspiring than the image of a kid … Continue reading

June 11, 2018 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: Muscle memory kicks in was schoolboy cries “Heil Hitler” outside St George’s Chapel

WINNER: Muscle memory kicks in was schoolboy cries “Heil Hitler” outside St George’s Chapel. (from Adrian Bamforth) RUNNERS UP: “Now for the vote. By show of hands do we assassinate the … Continue reading

June 9, 2018 · 5 Comments

Tesco removes Brexit’s ‘best before’ date

Under pressure from the Government, Tesco’s have agreed to extend the length of time that Brexit negotiations can be left on the shelf.  While the best before date for leaving … Continue reading

June 7, 2018 · Leave a comment

Michael McIntyre mugging his first ‘new material’ in years

Fans of Mr McIntyre have spoken of their relief, that the comedian will finally have an anecdote that goes beyond parenting observations and shaking his jowls with mock outrage.  Having … Continue reading

June 6, 2018 · Leave a comment

Seagulls on ‘smack’

Heroin and chips have become the meal of choice for coastal communities and thieving seagulls.  So addicted to ‘H’ have the birds become, that many will bombard innocent beach-goers enjoying … Continue reading

June 5, 2018 · 2 Comments

Reformation (play script)


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