The Truth about Goats
Despite facing months of uncertainty trapped inside the Tham Luang cave complex, the twelve boys admit that it was preferable to enforced bike riders and jollity with their parents. The confined youngsters said that sitting in a damp, musky hole with only basic hygiene and a ‘nothing to do’, at least made them understand the hell that is Centre Parcs.
Those who have experienced being trapped in a cave, say conditions are more spacious than the cramped changing rooms at Centre Parcs. One rescuer commented: ‘They were stuck beside a sub-tropical pool, filled with faecal matter. The floor was sticky and covered in human debris. To add insult to injury, the Parc also charged them £15 for a pedalo’.
Another account: ‘There was mud and grime everywhere. Children we crying. By the second day we’d run out of food. By day five, we’d started worshipping a pagan god and only communicated via a conch shell. We just felt trapped,’ said one Centre Parcs’ resident, who’d never even been to Thailand.
Meanwhile, the boys stuck in the cave were upbeat about not having to pay £25 for bowling, eat from dirty crockery or wonder ‘what the funny smell coming from the toilet is?’. Yet one malnourished child complained: ‘The coach promised us an enjoyable jaunt to see some caves, he never told us about these costly hidden extras – so just like Centre Parcs, yes’.