The Truth about Goats
A spokeswoman for Dame Sweary McSwearface challenged claims that she had used unparliamentary language with a work colleague, as ‘utter bollocks’. Leaping to her defence MP Ian Austin allegedly screamed, from the backbenches: ‘How dare the Labour Party question the integrity of Margaret Hodge, she’s an ‘effin Dame!’
An unapologetic Hodge took to Radio 4 to explain her position: ‘I told ***** Jeremy, in no uncertain terms, that he was a ****** and a ***** and he could stick his Peace Prize up his **** with a ******, a tub of KY jelly and one of his home-grown marrows’.
Meanwhile a spokeswoman for Louise Ellman MP expressed her solidarity: ‘Louise is appalled that Mr. Corbyn should dare to host an event on Holocaust Remembrance Day. Admittedly Jeremy left early and Louise stayed for the whole event, but that’s not the point. How dare he allow renowned Dr. Hajo Meyer to speak; as we know holocaust survivors are fantasists and just keep banging on about the war for attention and free biscuits’.
A staunch supporter of Tony Blair, Dame Margaret insisted that Labour’s left-wing could weaponize anti-Semitism in 45 minutes. When pressed about her dubious tax avoidance, her spokeswoman snapped: ‘0.01% of £2.1bn is f$cking plenty’.