The Truth about Goats
Despite a disastrous start to Brexit negotiations, Man Utd directors have said that Dr. Fox has their full support… just like they did with David Moyes. The board insisted that they had exactly the same levels of confidence that they had had with Darren Ferguson replacing Bryan Robson and Windows Altavista replacing the wheel.
Although, the dreaded ‘vote of confidence’ was a narrow 52/48 split, Dr. Fox claimed it was an overwhelming mandate to play Paul Pogba in goal. Tactically he claimed that the UK’s best option was to play a sweeper system, as ‘road sweeper’ will be the default white-collar job, post-Brexit.
Many fans say that the board has not backed the International Trade Secretary in the transfer market, given that he asked for a painless Brexit and ‘unicorns for all’. Sadly, he has only managed to secure an old mattress, a tin of kidney beans and a 3-2 loss to Brighton.
Rumors persist that former Real Madrid coach Zinedine Zidane is lined up to replace Dr. Fox – or at least someone better qualified, like a bollard or a packet of hobnobs. Reeling from back to back loses to the EU diplomats, Dr. Fox re-assured supporters: ‘Brexit is all about leaving Europe. And this season, I can pretty much guarantee that for Man Utd’.