The Truth about Goats
With the release of their joint album ‘We’re stinking rich’, the pop duo insisted they had moved into Exxon Mobil musical-phase of their career. Transcending their human flesh, both now only exist as series of scrolling numbers, representing Beyoncé’s spiralling wealth and the number of times Jay-Z needs to say the ‘n-word’ to appear relevant.
Taking the bold decision to replace musical notes in all their songs with dollar signs, the duo’s material can now only be appreciated by dolphins and investment analysts. In their latest video, shot in the Louvre, the couple stand in front of a series of iconic paintings – all of which they now own.
As for the tour, Beyoncé treated the crowd to photos of her children’s share portfolios and a film montage about pork belly futures. While Jay-Z whipped the crowd into a frenzy, by providing stock market index updates; finishing with a ‘Big shout out to my accountant’ and a rebel rousing ‘JPMorgan Chase – keep it real’.
Critics accusing them of style over substance, but Jay-Z’s countered this with a rap about their enduring love of market capitalization. Economists have suggested that martial disharmony might make Beyoncé & Jay-Z a risky investment, but it has to be more stable than a post-Brexit pound.