The Truth about Goats
The grateful citizens of the UK have welcomed the ex-Prime Minister reminding them all why he is an ex-Prime Minister and why nobody likes a war criminal. Where previously there was doubt and disharmony, Mr. Blair’s mouth has united the nation in agreement that he is still an ‘unmitigated ar$ehole’.
By sounding-off about his dislike of Brexit, he has done what no one else could do – create unanimous support for leaving the EU, while simultaneously making us feel sympathy for Gordon Brown. Subsequently, favourability for Brexit now stands at 99% – only 1% less than support for hitting his smug face with a polo mallet.
Explained one ardent Remainer said: ‘I’d spent ten years supporting the EU but thanks to ten minutes of listening to Mr. Blair, I’ve signed up to UKIP and had a British Bulldog tattooed to my forehead’.
A surprised BBC spokeswoman said: ‘We hadn’t actually asked to interview Mr. Blair – he just suddenly appeared in the studio. Unprompted he just started talking to the camera. He explained, that we only had 45 minutes to reverse Brexit. But if Brexit did happen, he wanted to throw his hat in the ring for the post of Peace Envoy to Luxembourg.’