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New 50p Brexit coin to be worth a ‘whopping’ 5p


The Chancellor in his budget has promised a post-Brexit currency made up of ha’pennies, magic beans and the aroma of ‘regret’. While the new 50p will feature the two faces … Continue reading

October 31, 2018 · Leave a comment

Man fails miserably not to judge Sinead O’Connor


Despite biting his tongue for all of two minutes, Tom Beggs (44) has risen to the challenge of pontificating on a subject he knows ‘f’all about’.  Now that Sinead O’Connor … Continue reading

October 30, 2018 · Leave a comment

When is it okay to bring a bonesaw to a party?


If you are planning to host an event in a Saudi Embassy, of your choice, there are important social niceties to observe; such as to cover the furniture in plastic … Continue reading

October 29, 2018 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: People gathered around the brave volunteer to see exactly what the effects of bathing in the new non-regulated seas were.


WINNER: People gathered around the brave volunteer to see exactly what the effects of bathing in the new non-regulated seas were. (from Bryntin) RUNNERS UP Pinocchio put on a lot … Continue reading

October 28, 2018 · 2 Comments

Female Dr Who suffers work-based harassment from aliens


Unfortunately the UK’s first female Time Lord has discovered gender imbalances still exist throughout time; particularly given that the TARDIS is only fitted out with urinals.  Worse still, is that … Continue reading

October 25, 2018 · Leave a comment

Glastonbury sells out on news that ‘there will be face-painting’


Booking lines have been inundated, with festival goers hoping to experience the once in a lifetime experience of having a sparkly butterfly drawn on their face, by someone with a … Continue reading

October 24, 2018 · Leave a comment

Waitrose will unpack your ‘smug’ while you’re out


Waitrose is to test a delivery service which will allow customers to experience all their innate superiority over their neighbours, without any of the tiresome waving of artisan cheese under … Continue reading

October 23, 2018 · 2 Comments

Caption Competition: ‘Damn it,’ said Theresa ‘I followed the red, white and blue recipe but this Brexit has come out more like Brexshit.’


WINNER: ‘Damn it,’ said Theresa ‘I followed the red, white and blue recipe but this Brexit has come out more like Brexshit.’ (from Bryntin) RUNNERS UP 95% Brexit (from SortaBlokeee) … Continue reading

October 22, 2018 · 1 Comment

Government counts ‘pocket money’ towards school funding


The UK Statistics Authority has discovered that not only has the Conservative Party included private tuition and university loans in their funding calculation, but have also added in birthday money … Continue reading

October 22, 2018 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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