Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Strawberry found in sewing kit


In what is being seen as a copycat crime and an attempt to improve the diet of seamstresses, an unknown Australian has started forcing fruit into darning kits.  While not an actual threat to the public, police have warned that it is potentially a ‘sticky situation’.

Australian supermarkets were advised to remove all fruit and vegetables; a course of action welcomed by all fussy children. Initially the government had planned to introduce stricter criminal penalties for food tampering, but apparently Vegemite was actually meant to look like that.

The perpetrator is clearly targeting embroiders with a vitamin C deficiency.  Historically needlework has featured in a range of fruits, with many a scurvy-ridden, tardy seaman sustained by the fact: ‘A stitch in lime, says time’.

Now Australian tailors will need to be on heightened alert for a ‘fruity fingering around the haberdashery’ – which was incidentally the title of Kenneth Williams’ autobiography.  Many sewers have been forced to give up their hobby, with one commenting; ‘Frankly my dear, I don’t give a darn’.

Advertisements

Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Information

This entry was posted on October 3, 2018 by in International News and tagged , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9,606 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 41,670 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2018

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: