Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Pop-ups for new iPhone only moderately ‘f$cking annoying’

Scientists have calculated that the average human being will see 1,000 adverts per day for Apple’s latest shiny bauble; but experience the same levels of irritation as if they were seeing James Cordon tap-dance with a poodle.  So profound is the annoyance, that many consumers have resorted to hurling their own excrement at the computer screen – which is, ironically, also how Donald Trump compiles his twitter feed.

So constant are the pop-ups, that tech advisors have suggested taking the extreme measure of gouging out your eyes with an old Android phone.  One expert recommended: ‘Take your new iPhone and smash it into bits with a brick. Although this may invalidate any insurance – in the long run you’ll be happier’.

There is nothing subtle about these non-stop adverts, which are about as subliminal as having Nigel Farage shout in your face about the spiralling cost of craft beer.  The average iPhone advert is only slightly less intrusive than a rectal examination or a story by Isabel Oakeshott.

To distract from the never-ending promotion of this irksome piece of technology, consumers should try focusing on something equally as expensive, indulgent and prone to crashing – like Brexit.



Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


This entry was posted on October 4, 2018 by in International Technology and tagged , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9,610 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 42,275 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter


Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2018

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: