The Truth about Goats
In a week where E-Cig manufacturers pressure MP’s to extend vaping laws , the Vatican has confirmed that they will be employing a Benedictine Monk with a ‘sixty a day habit’. In the event of a Papal Conclave, Brother Antonio will perch in the loft of the Sistine Chapel with a twenty foot e-cigarette and a vat of incense-infused nicotine.
Originally the suggestion was that all 115 cardinals would smoke regular sized e-cigs, but they were theologically split between the flavours of Banana Hammock Bread, Cotton Candy Fiddler and Jesuit Black Mamba. Instead Brother Antonio was seen as a neutral arbitrator and ‘classic pot head’.
Native Americans and Aboriginal Australians have long used ‘Send Help Now’ e-juice in their smoke signals and gift shops. While in 2017, the most seen form of avionic skywriting, was the phrase ‘Wenger Out’ in a flavorsome ‘Gooner Tears’.
Unfortunately the Vatican’s announcement was over-shadowed by accusations of industrial-scale abuse, levelled at the church; but as one priest explained: ‘It’s wrong to say there’s no smoke without fire. It’s clearly a vape cloud of innocence’.