Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Waitrose will unpack your ‘smug’ while you’re out


Waitrose is to test a delivery service which will allow customers to experience all their innate superiority over their neighbours, without any of the tiresome waving of artisan cheese under their nose.  Instead, the driver will unpack your priggishness and gnocchi, while you can enjoy a night at the theatre or an introductory lute-making class.

Drivers will gain access to your property (via the servant’s entrance) and carefully unload your over-priced snobbishness, from bags made from recycled conceit.  Just in case your neighbours are away, the driver will nail your shopping list to their door, using vintage cast iron nail and a gluten-free baguette.

The driver will wear a body camera, allowing envious locals to view your wondrous array of halloumi, charcuterie and ricotta – which are coincidently the names of your children.  Even neighbour’s pets will be left impressed by your dog’s tinned tofu treats, accompanied by doggy crudités and avocado flavoured chorizo.

One shopper explained: ‘I’m obviously a better person, but I need you to know that as well. It’s not enough that I voted Remain and can name more than one type of mustard.  Everyone needs to know their place – in my case, it’s plaice with pea purée, served asparagus and not a Nectar point in sight’.

Advertisements

2 comments on “Waitrose will unpack your ‘smug’ while you’re out

  1. A sarcastic take on all the pretentious nonsense that is going on in the food world, and the buzz word is “ORGANIC” ! Very well written !

    Like

Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Information

This entry was posted on October 23, 2018 by in UK Lifestyle and tagged , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9,608 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 41,898 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2018

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: