The Truth about Goats
The Chancellor in his budget has promised a post-Brexit currency made up of ha’pennies, magic beans and the aroma of ‘regret’. While the new 50p will feature the two faces of Brexit – Bojo the Clown on one side and simmering racial tension on the other.
A somewhat devalued coin, the 50p will be the equivalent to a sixth of a packet of Haribo or the new value of Philip Green’s knighthood. The commemorative coin will also appeal to collectors who would like to commemorate the end of the EU and the start of The Hunger Games.
Mr. Hammond’s original plan was to have a date-embossed potato to mark our exit from Europe, but sadly –post-Brexit- the humble spud will be trading at £38.50. Instead the seven-sided tin coin, will represent the many sides of Brexit and the tins you should be stockpiling.
Ironically the Vietnamese Dong will soon be worth more than the new British pound; as opposed to the ‘British Dong’ – or Nigel Farage as it is known. The EU itself will be releasing its own commemorative coin celebrating those who have done the most to further European unity and power – Napoleon and David Cameron.