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The Truth about Goats

Boris Johnson sold for scrap

The current London Mayor, Sadiq Khan, has managed to recover £11,000 in scrap value for an obsolete Foreign Secretary – made from saturated fat, fuzzy-felt and Remainer tears.  The broken … Continue reading

November 29, 2018 · Leave a comment

Hot climates have ‘worst’ drinking games

While scientists may have concluded that a darker environment leads to heavy drinking; the truth is that your average warm country is ‘an uptight little priss’, who only cares about … Continue reading

November 28, 2018 · Leave a comment

Kilogram to be measured in Greggs’ Pasties

Scientists have agreed to change the definition of 1000 grams to mean something that is simply ‘a bit chunky’.  The fluctuation of the original platinum-based ingot is about 50 parts … Continue reading

November 27, 2018 · Leave a comment

50ft Wicker Man listed on Etsy

Alongside knitted symbols of paganism and wrought iron sex toys, one careful artisan has listed a huge man-shaped sculpture of woven twigs – with minor scorch marks around the base.  … Continue reading

November 26, 2018 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘Expelliarmus!’

WINNER: ‘Expelliarmus!’ (from Jane_F_) RUNNERS UP: Trump’s suggestion of a game of “Rock, paper, scissors” in the White House Press Room, went horribly wrong very quickly. (from Al O’Pecia) Brazen … Continue reading

November 25, 2018 · 3 Comments

Universal Credit is ‘bloody brilliant’!

Everyone is in complete agreement that the Government’s flagship welfare system is an unrivaled success and not a ‘multitudinous f$ck-knot’.  It has broken all previous efficiency records previously held by … Continue reading

November 22, 2018 · 2 Comments

Stan Lee to be brought back for Stan Lee II

Regardless of dying, at the ripe old age of 95, movie executives already have plans afoot to resurrect Stan Lee, for as many times as is profitable.  Grieving relatives have … Continue reading

November 21, 2018 · Leave a comment

Scientists confirm clown pubes ‘match’ their hair

Research has revealed that the one thing scarier than a killer clown, is a huge mass of multi-coloured pubic hair bursting out of your pants.  Scientists have spent five years … Continue reading

November 20, 2018 · Leave a comment

USA also says something mean about Iran’s mother

In what is being seen a deliberate attempt to provoke a military response, President Trump has imposed on Tehran strict sanctions, spoilers for ‘Game of Thrones’ and has put Ali … Continue reading

November 19, 2018 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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