The Truth about Goats
Insole and corn-plaster manufacturers have come out in favour of the health benefits of standing at work. Which by coincidence, has also been endorsed by the Guild of Cobblers, the Federation of Sandal-Makers and the International Society of Shoelace Weavers.
Some have suggested that new research on the benefits of standing desks may have been compromised by being funded by the Society of Cuticle Kindness – or S.O.C.K. as it is called. A SOCK spokeswoman explained: ‘Sitting is passive, leads to weight gain and completely plays into the hands of the cushion manufacturers’.
Clinical trials have led to the development of standing desks; after the NHS’ own ‘bedless’ wards encouraged more walking. This follows the Government’s own successful ‘cashless-NHS’, which helped entrepreneurs in the poultice and leech sectors.
A Doctor claimed: ‘Standing leads to a more engaged, active work-force. Which is why we are also launching – ‘Flammable Head Fridays’. By setting their heads alight, employees will be more motivated to spontaneous movement, quick thought and water consumption.’ She added: ‘And if any employees are reluctant to adopt a standing desk, just steal their chair’.