The Truth about Goats
Having admitted to funding a counter-intelligence group targeting opposition politicians, the FO has confirmed that they have also been using donations to discredit Rudolf and rig Christmas. Using ex-military staff, the FO has embarked on a systematic campaign to unravel Xmas jumpers, crack novelty mugs and ensure Jeremy Corbyn ends up with miss-matched socks.
An effective strategy was to use social media to suggest that Santa was ‘not real’ and that the Christmas fairy was in the pay of the Kremlin. By contrast the FO’s own not-so-secret donation of £2m to the ‘Institute for Statecraft’, is proving slightly more controversial than last year’s gift of themed boxer shorts.
Originally founded to counter online Russian propaganda, the Institute for Statecraft has ended up focusing on the Labour Party – accusing it of eating all the mince pies, spiking the eggnog and cheating at charades. The only thing they attribute to Russian bots are every Lynx Deodorant gift set
Suspiciously this year’s Secret Santa contrasts a bag of nuts for the Labour front bench, with a multi-billion pound tax haven for Conservative ministers. Asked if they were putting together a list of who is naughty or nice, an FO spokeswoman said: ‘Oh yes, we’ve compiling a list, alright. You don’t want to be on this list. This is not a list you want to be on. Trust me’.