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May bribes Knights of Ni to say ‘Yea’

The Prime Minister has offered New Year’s honours to Brexiteers in exchange for their support, with the understanding that they can have any shrubbery they want, provided it is not ‘too expensive’. Michael Palin, founder of Monty Python’s Flying Circus, is to get one knighthood, as is John Redwood, founder of ‘Rees Mogg’s Flying Sh$tshow’.

A spokeswoman for Palin said: ‘Michael originally thought this Brexit deal was no more, expired, gone to meet its maker. A Brexit bereft of life. But now he agrees that it is probably pining for the fjords – some kind of Norwegian-style customs union’.

Palin’s denied that his new TV show would have a Brexit-slant – ‘Deporting Eastern Europeans Pole by Pole’ and ‘Around the World in 80 Days, to secure a trade deal before the food runs out’. The spokeswoman explained: ‘That last one about food shortages is just a working title – it’s far simpler just to say Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam’.

Meanwhile, John Redwood is acknowledged for his services to comedy; with the films such as ‘Life of Boris’, ‘The Demeaning of Life’ and of course ‘A borderless Northern Ireland and other Holy Grails’.


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This entry was posted on January 7, 2019 by in UK News and tagged , , , , , , .

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