The Truth about Goats
The Gabonese Government has managed to avoid open rebellion by having offering a second Brexit referendum. This follows five soldiers taking control of the national radio station; demanding an end to the Presidency of Ali Bongo, no more straight bananas and £350million extra a week for the NHS.
Despite it being 3,500 miles from Brussels, 48% of Gabon are strongly in favour of a European customs union; while 52% back malaria, intestinal worms and 17% infant mortality. Sleeping sickness is particularly prevalent among those having to listen to Chuka Umunna.
Said a UK Foreign Office spokesman: ‘Of course our first reaction on hearing that there was a coup in Gabon, was to check on Google Maps where the hell Gabon was. Apparently it’s a pretty oil rich country, so I’m surprised it wasn’t us doing the invading’.
Tony Blair has demanded a second referendum, although this is not the first time an African republic has fallen under the spell of a known war-criminal. Said one Gabonese voter: ‘The recent coup in Zimbabwe showed us you can easily get rid of a corrupt Prime Minister – unless of course you are the 1922 Committee’.