The Truth about Goats
With almost 50 years of lunar technology available, the Chinese space agency has still opted to use the contents of a lunch-box to protect the delicate Chang’e-4. The first images beamed down, reveal two rover vehicles looking like lawn mowers dressed as a boiled sweet.
Explained retired NASA employee: ‘It first happened in 69, when Buzz Aldrin broke a lump off the Apollo 11 landing-module – while showing us all how to dance the Mashed Potato. (Neil) Armstrong quickly wolfed down 500 KitKats he happened to be carrying – he was a bit of a chocoholic – and improvised a temporary cover. From then on, for all future missions, we’d just get $20 of candy wrappers from Hobbycraft’.
Obviously science has moved on since then and the traditional KitKat used, has gone from two to four fingers. The foil used can now withstand the Moon’s extreme temperatures from 127 to minus 173 degrees Celsius; but can be instantly shattered by a particularly sharp thumb nail.
A Chinese scientist said: ‘Other lunch-box apparatus are also employed for vital life-saving components; sandwich cling-film is used to repair holes in space suits and Ribena straws can provide 0.000000001 seconds of additional oxygen’. What about the carrot? Some kind of emergency radio antenna? ‘Oh, no, that’s just part of your five-a-day’.