The Truth about Goats
Thanks to renowned academic and Nazi-hunter, Rachel Riley, the notorious racist Noam Chomsky has finally been outed. Too long has he been terrorizing the world with his support for freedom, human rights and his controversial objection to genocide.
In fact Chomsky is now the first person to appear on both Richard Nixon’s and Riley’s ‘Enemies List’. ‘Racists’ claim that Chomsky has been a force for good with his 100 books, 40 degrees and founding of the field of cognitive science; but only Riley has saved thousands of lives by counting up relatively small numbers without the aid of a calculator.
Mr Chomsky famously supports all free speech, but is fairly indifferent to ‘Nine out of 10 Cats does Countdown’. A fellow professor said Noam mentioned: ‘That the formulaic structure and post-modern comic conceit is too derivative. But that’s too evidence based. It’s probably just easier if he calls them all racists’.
Remarked a celebrity friend of Rachel: ‘It took a brave person to stand up and call the winner of the Int’l Courage of Conscience Award, Seán MacBride Peace Prize and Sydney Peace Prize an Anti-Semite. It was particularly brave to do it without the benefits of research, evidence or a good libel lawyer’.
Asked if he was racist, Mr Chomsky said ‘no’; but he is a linguistics expert, so it probably had some clever double-meaning. Mr Chomsky’s own Jewish family were unavailable for comment because they were too busy laughing.