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The Truth about Goats

Churchill the greatest Britain in history – provided you’ve never read a history book

The wonderful thing about being Piers Morgan, other than the sweet smell of gammon, is that you never have to experience self-doubt, by exposing yourself to facts.  This has allowed Mr. Morgan to white-wash Winston Churchill‘s supremacist past, with an emphasis on the white.

Unless you were one of the four million people who needlessly died in the Bengal Famine, you probably remember Winston Churchill as that loveable rogue played by Gary Oldman and Boris Johnson.  What is less well-known is that he also proposed chemical attacks against ‘beastly’ Indians, massacring peaceful anti-Fascists in Athens and cheaper car insurance.

Sadly Churchill features in a list of effective war-time leaders who also had with a dubious ‘peace-time’ record; Napoleon always played thrash metal too loud and Genghis Khan never remembered anyone’s birthday. In turn, Mr. Churchill liked to unwind by deploying troops against miners, setting fire to the city of Cork or looking like James Corden pre-rehab.

The greatest war-time orator, yes – but should you really want to tell Mussolini: ‘In the conflict between Fascism and Bolshevism, there was no doubt where my sympathies and convictions lay’? The only defensible thing about that statement, is that it does sound like something Piers Morgan would say.


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This entry was posted on February 6, 2019 by in UK Crime and tagged , , , .

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