The Truth about Goats
Schoolchildren protesting against climate change, have presented the nation with an agonizing choice – battle climate change or vote the ‘Tories Out’. However, neutral observers have suggested that these choices might not be mutually exclusive; we may be able to save humanity from destruction and help the environment.
Obviously this means that many school children have missed out on a valuable day of teaching and for many it was a tough choice between – saving the world or Maths last period on a Friday. Surprisingly the majority opted for a day out, aimlessly wandering streets, shouting obscenities – or as it is more commonly known, Theresa May’s Brexit strategy.
A few have taken issue with children skipping school to protest, particularly Toby Young – who famously skipped over getting qualifications in order to get into Oxford University. Outraged in exchange for cash, he used his column in ‘The Spectator’ to explain why he likes to be paid to be angry and how he would have got away with global catastrophe ‘if it weren’t for those meddling kids!’
Said one 7 year old protestor, before being kettled by mounted police and sent to bed early: ‘I have a dream that school children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by their GCSE results but by the content of their lunch box. I have a dream where little private school girls and little state school girls will be able to join hands and say “f$ck off Theresa May”. I have dream.’