The Truth about Goats
The Prime Minister has taken the unusual step of tying any meaningful Brexit decision to April 1st, to maximise levels of ridicule and mirth. Explained a spokeswoman for No. 10: ‘Regardless of the outcome, I think we can assume that the whole thing is a joke’
Traditionally the day involves an unwitting victim, but in this case the UK is both the prankster and the pranked. Newspapers usually take this opportunity to run implausible, fake news stories – but this time, they will just have verbatim transcripts of the Brexit negotiations.
In England a ‘fool’ is known by different names, including a ‘noodle’ or ‘Brexit Secretary’. While in Scotland, April Fools’ Day was traditionally called ‘Huntigowk Day’; although in the event of Brexit they will be calling it ‘The Day we chose to get out of the UK and not a moment too soon Day, Day’.
Folklorists say that the joke should only last for 24 hours, yet economists are suggesting at least 24 years. Likewise, the trick would normally be revealed with the cry of ‘April Fool’ but this time the EU is going with the more nuanced ‘You f$cking Muppet!’. Said the spokeswoman: ‘It’s just a harmless prank – minus the harmless part’.