The Truth about Goats
As a result of wall to wall ‘Brexshit’ coverage, your average voter now has a better grasp of parliamentary procedures than William Pitt the Younger. In fact, most people can confidently quote Hansard in Latin, draft their own legislation and have John Bercow on speed-dial.
So caught up are they, in the minutiae of the House of Commons, that your average Brit now dresses like a 18th century Fop and regularly uses the word ‘gadzooks’ when sneezing. Daily newspapers are now produced on vellum and everyone gets to have a turn at being the Chair of the 1922 Committee.
Wearing a powdered wig, one voter commented: ‘I know all about the history of the building, for instance did you know that Jacob Rees Mogg is what happened when Big Ben got f$cked by a Dementor? Also any Brexit Bill is tied up in green ribbon, the colour of the House of Commons, and carried by hand through Central Lobby into the House of Lords – and then put in ye olde shredder’.
Not everyone is a Parliamentary scholar, there still exists pockets of ignorance – usually on both the Front Benches. Explained one Minister: ‘Apparently there’s this thing called ‘Democracy’? I think it’s the name of one of the cloak rooms – the one where you hang your sword up. Trouble is, this place is a warren. I’ve been here twenty years and am yet to find it’.