The Truth about Goats
Soldiers of the 3rd battalion parachute regiment have discovered to their cost, that a renationalized postal service cannot be defeated by bullets alone. Despite firing 50 rounds of ammunition into a picture of Mr. Corbyn, the Labour Leader still lives on and is as at one with ‘The Force’ – and other union members of the emergency services.
For uniformed military personnel to threaten death to an MP is a treasonable action and is the sort of ‘d$ck move’ a Sith Lord would do. While as a ‘spirit’, Corbyn would continue to guide Labour, becoming omniscient, infusing his allotment with midichlorians.
Explained one excited sci-fi fan: ‘As a jedi ghost, Corbyn can’t be harmed and can instantaneously travel to any marginal constituency in the galaxy’.
Appearing alongside ‘Magic Grandpa’ will be a wizened Yoda-like figure, called Michael Foot. Also, Corbyn will have good sense to only do the fourth instalment of the socialism franchise and none of the dreadful Blairite prequels.