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French Police hunt arsonist with distinctive curvature of the spine

Officials now believe that fire in Notre-Dame Cathedral may have been started by a dissatisfied bell-ringer, aggrieved by his medieval working conditions and lack of orthopaedic chairs. A Mr. Q. Modo is being sort for questioning about the arson attack and whereabouts of various gypsy girls.

There is a written account by Victor Hugo that suggests a high degree of corruption in the local clergy and the systematic exploitation of low-paid staff. There is also a suggestion that the culprit may have been driven to this act by an incessant ringing noise, couple with incurable tinnitus.

The first thought was that the destruction of the 850 year old building may have been part of the ‘Yellow Jacket’ protests or attempt by the Pope to destroy incriminating records of abuse. Either way we are now left with only one eye-watering Parisian landmark – a 30€ cup of artisan coffee at the Champs-Elysées.

Witnesses attest to seeing Mr. Modo discarding a lit woodbine near the wooden gothic structure, although friends insist that ‘Quasi prefers to vape’. Regardless, les policiers n’avaient pas encore réussi à l’arrêter – although they have at least one big hunch to go on.


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This entry was posted on April 18, 2019 by in Faith and tagged , , , , , .

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