The Truth about Goats
Historians have revealed that Marie Antoinette’s iconic dietary advice was intended to mock those who were gluten-intolerant. What was previously unknown, was that 48% of all peasants had wheat-related allergies and 12% were vegetarian – preferring tofu buns, Quorn baps and nut-roast doughnuts.
Explained one academic: “Let them eat cake’ was a purposely provocative statement, similar to someone asking Piers Morgan to eat a Gregg’s vegan sausage-roll. Marie Antoinette also instructed those with peanut allergies to dine on Snickers bars – but, of course, we’re talking about the 18th century and they were called ‘Marathon’ back then’.
An insensitivity of elites to the food sensitivities of the poor, is a common theme throughout history; with Brexit ministers advising – ‘Qu’ils mangent une boîte de spam’. Famously Alfred the Great would burn cakes in front of his subjects, not by accident but just because he could.
‘Ironically Marie Antoinette, herself, suffered from a unique metal-based allergy, which would result in an acute severing of the neck. The revolting peasants were then able to eat a diet of vegan cheese, soybeans and dry falafel – which is, of course, is truly revolting’.