The Truth about Goats
Everyone’s favourite plain-spoken TV-listing, has said she plans to run for election, the moment she finishes recording Strictly Celebrity Bakeoff XII. Jess has said that her brand of plain-spokenness is just the tonic Parliament needs, alongside a make-over from Phil & Kirsty.
Jess first shot to fame, as the plainspoken voice of daytime TV, later becoming one third of Ant & Dec. Although technically not working-class, northern or ethnic, Jess overcame these cultural barriers by affecting a Brummie accent.
Posing for a full page spread in this month’s glossy edition of ‘Extreme flyfishing’, Jess explained, plainly, that she knew how to swear and eat chip butties. Also, she quipped, Jacob Rees Mogg once let her use his servant’s entrance, but in a non-euphamistic way.
Jess is yet to say which party she would represent, other than herself. Yet, her agent confirmed that any offer would need to be Equity minimum: ‘Did I mention she was plain-spoken?’