The Truth about Goats
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, ‘Booby’ to his friends, has pleased fan-girls everywhere by dropping some ‘phat moves’ and AK assault rifles in the pop video ‘ME!’. Famous for his sugary brand of Islamic fundamentalism, al-Baghdadi appears scantily clad in full black, body-robe and a grey quasi-military fishing waistcoat.
Packed with Easter eggs, suicide bombs and call-backs to previous atrocities, the 18-minute video has been watched more than 26 million times since its launch. ‘The battle for Baghuz is over,’ he declares. ‘This song is about embracing your caliphate and owning it’.
This is not the first time Taylor Swift has collaborated with blood-thirsty, murdering scum – having twice sung with Ed Sheeran. Similarly the chorus of ‘Me-e-e, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh. I’m the only one of me’ mirrors the Quran’s Surah 66: ayat 9 – ‘Make war on the infidels who dwell around you – particularly Kanye West’.
The US State Department will inspect the tapes authenticity, as Taylor has often been accused of copying other artists. Meanwhile, appearing for the first time in five years, ‘Booby’ promised revenge for the loss of territory, death to Calvin Harris and further horrors from Taylor’s forthcoming album.