The Truth about Goats
The American novelist has confessed that he is avoiding all online discussion of ‘Game of Thrones’, so he can also enjoy the surprise of how it all ends. Although having started the epic series in the early 90s, Martin soon relinquished the writing task to a room full of monkeys and the Brexit negotiation team.
His agent confirmed: ‘George has a rough idea of the story arc; with the narrative culminating with a drunken goblin, a vat K-Y jelly and a pregnant dragon. But quite how this all strings together, he’s not sure. All we know is Aslan gets harpooned by Captain Ahab, Sam Gamgee marries David Copperfield and Voldemort returns to Kansas’.
‘The finale season involves a lot of hitting, shouting and medieval product placement. Jean Valjean and Nurse Ratched are reconciled. Lennie Small and Hodor attempt to smoother each other. And Bernie Winters is coming.’
Many fans have been less guessing how it will end – can the Great Gatsby defeat Miss Havisham’s Darthrakian horde? Whose nipple is whose? A friend of the author said: ‘George said the books start modestly but he’s pretty sure it will end with a huge pile of money’.