The Truth about Goats
Anne Widdecombe has defied expectation by being just as curmudgeonly now, as she was when she was a high-spirited teenage bigot. Contrary to expection, a lifetime of homophobia does not evaporate after appearing on Dr Who – although it will get you a panto season in Dartford.
One BBC executive defended the choice to feature Anne in over 100 TV shows: ‘Yes, its true that Anne has spent her entire career being rampantly homophobic, but that’s just banter. But now she says she voted for Brexit – well, we have to draw the line somewhere’.
Said one bewildered fan: ‘How can she be a bigot – she was on Pointless. No one who appears regularly on TV can be a bad person, I know because Jess Phillips told me. Anyway, she does funny dances. I like funny dances.’
The former shadow Home Secretary had warmed so many hearts with her quotes from the Old Testament and shackling female prisoners while they gave birth. Her agent confessed: ‘I explained to Anne she can do all her old routines about IRA sympathisers and gays burning in hell but just lay off the new material. Brexit is too edgy.”