Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

God: ‘Thanks for the thoughts and prayers but I’d rather have had the cash’

A somewhat truculent deity has told his faithful that the reason their prayers are falling on ‘stony ground’, is that he was trying to save up for Glastonbury tickets. His preferred invocation would be a cheque made out to ‘cash’ or Nectar-points of the Gods.

His Muchness explained: ‘In the event of a major disaster, your heartfelt prayers are very touching but I can’t exchange those for cash at M&S – I barely get store-credit. The songs and stuff are particularly lovely – but is a gift card too much to ask for?’

Unfortunately many of the devout still insist on personalized gifts, ignoring God’s pleas for money towards Driving Lessons. Theologians speculate that the Supreme Being may need funds for Yoga lessons or more realistically a ‘booze-filled bender’ in Magaluf.

God read out one prayer: ‘This one comes from Fernando, age 7. Fernando asks ‘Please, can my village have clean drinking water’. Well, no, Fernando, no you can’t. If I can crowd-fund enough readies for a Gap Year, I’m not wasting it in some grubby corner of the third world. It’s Las Vegas – yeah, Las Vegas baby! And I’m going to be using up all those thoughts and prayers on the blackjack table’.


Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


This entry was posted on June 13, 2019 by in Faith and tagged , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9,623 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 42,935 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter


Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2018

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: