Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Landlocked pensioner told to stop dumping millions of tonnes of plastic in the ocean 


Harold Burgen (76) has been warned by his local council, that the global eco-system is about to collapse unless he stops consuming 120,000TWh of fossil fuels and eating all the … Continue reading

June 17, 2019 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘Don’t say it out loud…don’t say it out loud…Those hands though…No, it’s Ok, he can’t see me smirking from here’


WINNER: ‘Don’t say it out loud…don’t say it out loud…Those hands though…No, it’s Ok, he can’t see me smirking from here’ (from Bryntin)   RUNNERS UP Donald still didn’t understand … Continue reading

June 15, 2019 · Leave a comment

God: ‘Thanks for the thoughts and prayers but I’d rather have had the cash’


A somewhat truculent deity has told his faithful that the reason their prayers are falling on ‘stony ground’, is that he was trying to save up for Glastonbury tickets. His … Continue reading

June 13, 2019 · Leave a comment

Cocaine denies using Michael Gove


The class A drug has distanced itself from accusations that Michael Gove’s erratic and maniacal behaviour was the result of anything other than too much Michael Gove.  It insisted that … Continue reading

June 12, 2019 · Leave a comment

Change UK split to pursue solo incompetence


After much soul searching, Heidi Allen (leader of CUK) has concluded she has no soul. The next logical step is for her party to disband, each to pursue their own … Continue reading

June 11, 2019 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: How Boris imagines Brexit negotiations will go


WINNER: How Boris imagines Brexit negotiations will go (from JunktheBunk) RUNNERS UP:  Once again, as Mrs May resigned, the traditional Conservative Party Leader Morris gathered and the candidates embarked upon … Continue reading

June 10, 2019 · 1 Comment

Surprise, as elderly homophobe has not mellowed with age


Anne Widdecombe has defied expectation by being just as curmudgeonly now, as she was when she was a high-spirited teenage bigot.  Contrary to expection, a lifetime of homophobia does not … Continue reading

June 10, 2019 · Leave a comment

Trump leaves scathing TripAdvisor review for UK


  The UK’s post-Brexit economic strategy to become an Airbnb for racist golfers, was dealt a humiliating blow when a Mr. D. Trump (50ish) awarded it only 2 stars – … Continue reading

June 6, 2019 · Leave a comment

Jeremy Kyle to have DNA test – humanity in doubt


ITV are under pressure to bring the tabloid talk-show host back for a one off episode, featuring Jeremy Kyle interviewing Jeremy Kyle. Having had his show cancelled due to the … Continue reading

June 5, 2019 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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