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Caption Competition: ‘…and then I said ‘Well, if you say it’s this long Mr Johnson, that’ll be another thing nobody will believe’


WINNER: ‘…and then I said ‘Well, if you say it’s this long Mr Johnson, that’ll be another thing nobody will believe’ (from Bryntin)   RUNNERS UP ‘I hold in my … Continue reading

August 31, 2019 · 1 Comment

Pensionable age to be set by Joseph Heller


A leaked memo has revealed that the Government is considering raising the state pension age to ‘one day after your heart stops working’. At 75, this pension will be past … Continue reading

August 29, 2019 · Leave a comment

Elton John and Prince Harry offset carbon footprint by planting more poor people


The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have avoided criticism of taking four private jet journeys in 11 days, by agreeing to plant a forest the size of Wales, over Wales. … Continue reading

August 28, 2019 · Leave a comment

Jo Swinson yet to rule out pact with Sauron


Having dismissed electoral or coalition agreements with the SNP and Labour, the Liberal Democrats were still keen to leave the door open to Dracula and Pennywise the Dancing Clown (or … Continue reading

August 27, 2019 · Leave a comment

Ant & Dec to head Government of National Unity


Centrists throughout Waitrose have agreed that the UK would be best served by skipping over the democracy part and returning to 2002. To facilitate the process, a hand picked team … Continue reading

August 26, 2019 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: Rainforest becomes sentient and fights back


WINNER: Rainforest becomes sentient and fights back (from EcoAndy_Runny) RUNNERS UP ‘This is what happens if you don’t eat your brussel sprouts’ (from LololaPots) Man drinks cocktail and has alarming … Continue reading

August 25, 2019 · Leave a comment

YouGov owe the bookies £10m


The notorious soothsayers and purveyors of Brexit dreams, have made a fatal error of betting on their predictions. YouGov now owe ‘Dave the Bookie’ a vast sum, after a failed … Continue reading

August 22, 2019 · 4 Comments

Feminist angry that Transgender get preferential hate crimes


Attacks against transgender people having risen by 81%, which is clear proof that well-qualified women are being overlooked for online abuse and physical intimidation.  With 1,944 reported crimes last year, … Continue reading

August 21, 2019 · 2 Comments

Jo Swinson demands ‘more comfortable’ diamond shoes


Having spent three years insisting on a referendum and no Hard Brexit, now that she has been offered them, the Lib Dem leader has decided that this gift-wrapped present needs … Continue reading

August 20, 2019 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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