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Brexiteer fears allayed by Guy Verhofstadt’s vision of a European Empire, with optional Death Star

Addressing a scantily-packed Lib Dem conference, the ex-Belgium PM, spelt out the future of the EU – which mainly involved reforming the Holy Roman Empire and weaponizing the Scout movement. … Continue reading

September 30, 2019 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘Ah, an independent hairdresser!’

WINNER: ‘Ah, an independent hairdresser!’ (from Inchcock) How d’ya want it eh? Oh cut short y’say, just like an English MP’s extra five week holiday eh? Och, I’m so funny…’ … Continue reading

September 29, 2019 · 2 Comments

Facebook knows when you have sex, but so does your neighbour

A controversial menstruation app has been designed to monitor rigorous love-making, almost as closely as your neighbour, who shares an adjoining wall with your bedroom.  While Facebook is able to … Continue reading

September 26, 2019 · Leave a comment

Supreme Court insists that Boris must be publicly birched

Much to the continuation of Number 10, the Supreme Court has ruled that the Prime Minister must now be dunked in water while tied to a stool, then strapped to … Continue reading

September 25, 2019 · Leave a comment

Sonos to become House of Commons Speaker

With John Bercow preparing to step down, MPs have said they want the new Speaker to be impartial and to be able to play Spotify.  To this end, Sonos can … Continue reading

September 24, 2019 · Leave a comment

Brexit’s not a moon. It’s a space station!

  There has been a growing sense of unease among the electorate that those in power are less focused on the logistical difficulties of Brexit and are keener to deliver … Continue reading

September 23, 2019 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘If you want my body, and you think I’m sexy… ‘

WINNER: ‘If you want my body, and you think I’m sexy…’ (from @Syco_babble)     One Brexit was too hard, one Brexit was too soft and Jacob found this Brexit … Continue reading

September 22, 2019 · 1 Comment

British car industry to be run by Mad Max

Years after the collapse of civilization and several hours after Brexit, a lone road-warrior is to be given the task of rebuilding the UK’s auto industry and fighting off marauding … Continue reading

September 19, 2019 · Leave a comment

Exploding tomato ruins everything

Adil Chaudhry (34) has had his life turned upside down and his shirt coated, by vegetable shrapnel. Tentatively pricking a cherry tomato with his fork, Mr Chaudhry unleashed a chain … Continue reading

September 18, 2019 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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